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范文果然精彩吗?  

2008-01-09 10:17:46|  分类: 翻译写作 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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这篇题为“How to Succeed in a Job Interview”的作文是20011月四级作文的一篇网上范文,曾被收入精彩范文之列,细读起来,倒觉得有几处缺陷影响了文章的精彩。

如何成功面试当是从应聘者的角度来谈,而不是招聘者的角度,也就是说,不是讲如何招聘到员工。即使以招聘考官的口气谈应聘艺术,谈的仍是如何找到工作。

这么说来,开篇第一句,“both the employer and the applicant”就定错了基调,领错了路。面试对招聘者重要,固然没错,但是,花开两朵,各表一枝,这正是不该表的一枝。不然,第二句,“The interview, so to speak, has become indispensable for getting a satisfactory job”只提获得工作,而第二段首句“the job interview is very important to a job-hunter”只提求职者。这两处为何不兼提招聘方了呢?

第三句所谈一方面,话题即是招聘者,已游离题外。当然,可以换成求职者的视角,“…应聘者可以展示自己的经验、所受教育以及个人品质,使考官承认‘这个人是合适人选’”,这样,就又与主题相关联了。

另外,“On the other hand,…”一句中“to know”的宾语可简化些,避免重复。

第二段,“Secondly,…”一句,主语可改为“the interviewee”以便与列举的第一、第二点相应,保持句子结构一致。句式贵多变,当不是对这种有排比作用的句子而言。

最后一段,“To sum up,…”一句中,最重要的部分“but there is no need to be nervous”却不归“To sum up”所辖,是新发一枝。可断为独立两句,使之都得到应有的强调。

(如感兴趣,请阅读相似文章“四级范文评论” )

附:How to Succeed in a Job Interview

Nowadays, in an ever tighter job market, great importance has been attached to an interview by both the employer and the applicant. The interview, so to speak, has become indispensable for getting a satisfactory job. On the one hand, the interviewer can take advantage of the occasion to learn about the candidates, such as their work experiences, education and their personalities, so as to pick out the right person for the company. On the other hand, the interviewee can make use of the opportunity to get to know the job he is going to take up, the salary, the working conditions and many other things about the job he is interested in.

Therefore, the job interview is very important to a job-hunter. But how can one succeed in it? Firstly of all, the interviewee must pay attention to his or her appearance. The first impression is always where we start. Get dressed properly and neatly. Secondly, good manners are equally important. Don’t be too proud, and neither too timid. Just be courteous. Thirdly, the interviewee must demonstrate his aptitude and skills for the job and his knowledge about eh job-related areas. Be confident. Last but not the least, the interviewee ought to be honest about his or her personal as well as academic background, for honesty is the best policy.

To sum up, the job interview is indeed important, but there is no need to be nervous. As long as the interviewee has the ability for the job, with careful preparation and a fairly confident and honest performance, his or her success can be ensured.

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