注册 登录  
 加关注
   显示下一条  |  关闭
温馨提示!由于新浪微博认证机制调整,您的新浪微博帐号绑定已过期,请重新绑定!立即重新绑定新浪微博》  |  关闭

微覩著秋

paths的博客

 
 
 

日志

 
 

婚姻幽默(二)  

2010-03-17 12:43:25|  分类: 英语欣赏 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

  下载LOFTER 我的照片书  |
 
 

1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).

婚姻不是一个词。它是一个句子/一种徒刑(无期徒刑)。

这句妙语利用了“sentence”的两种意思(句子,判决)制造双关。

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

婚姻是一所学校,在这里男人失去了学士学位/单身身份,而女人得到了硕士学位/主人地位

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffeRING.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.

婚后生活充满了兴奋与失望:结婚第一年,男的说,女的听;第二年,女的说,男的听;第三年,男女一起说,邻居听。

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

有这么个人,在教堂里嘟哝了几句话,结果婚就结了。一年后,他在睡梦里嘟哝了些什么,结果婚就离了。

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and takingthe husband gives and the wife takes

幸福的婚姻就是付出与获取:丈夫付出,妻子获取。

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?

Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
儿子:爸爸,结婚要花多少钱/付出怎样代价

父亲:孩子,我不清楚,现在还没付完呢。

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.

Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

儿子:爸爸,这是真的吗?听说在中国古代,男人直到结婚才认识/了解他妻子。

父亲:不只在中国,孩子,哪里都这样。

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

爱情是甜蜜的长梦,而婚姻就是惊梦闹钟。

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

他们说,婚前男人握女人手,那是爱;婚后握,那是自卫。

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

刚结婚的人看上去很幸福,我们知道为什么。但是,一个结婚十年的男人看上去很幸福,我们就奇怪,不知道为什么了。

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

有这么个恋人,他说他为了她愿意从地狱走过。他们结了婚,而他现在正走地狱。

15. Confucius says: man who sinks into woman's arm soon have arms in woman's sink.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still stay together.

婚后,丈夫与妻子就成了硬币的两面。他们互不见面但仍呆在一起。

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

婚姻是男女合而为一人。要决定这一人为哪方时麻烦就开始了。

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the 'Y' becomes silent.

21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always

22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.

结了婚的男人比没结婚的男人长寿,这不是真的,只是感觉有些长。

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

失去妻子很难过/困难。就我来说,简直不可能。

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.

妻子:今晚咱们出去开心地玩玩吧。

丈夫:行,不过,你要是回来的早,别关走廊的灯。

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: Aren't you wearing your ring on the wrong finger? The other replied, Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
男人不结婚不完整,结了婚他就完了。
28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

结了婚的男人工作换得多么勤没关系,最后老板还是同一个。

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

一个男人在报上登了一广告:征妻。第二天他收到一百多封信,信上说得都一样:我的给你。

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

  评论这张
 
阅读(361)| 评论(22)
推荐 转载

历史上的今天

在LOFTER的更多文章

评论

<#--最新日志,群博日志--> <#--推荐日志--> <#--引用记录--> <#--博主推荐--> <#--随机阅读--> <#--首页推荐--> <#--历史上的今天--> <#--被推荐日志--> <#--上一篇,下一篇--> <#-- 热度 --> <#-- 网易新闻广告 --> <#--右边模块结构--> <#--评论模块结构--> <#--引用模块结构--> <#--博主发起的投票-->
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

页脚

网易公司版权所有 ©1997-2017