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可怜的梭罗――读《瓦尔登湖》翻译(二十七)   

2010-04-15 11:31:53|  分类: 《瓦尔登湖》 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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I long ago lost a hound, a bay horse, and a turtle-dove, and am still on their trail. Many are the travellers I have spoken concerning them, describing their tracks and what calls they answered to. I have met one or two who had heard the hound, and the tramp of the horse, and even seen the dove disappear behind a cloud, and they seemed as anxious to recover them as if they had lost them themselves.

To anticipate, not the sunrise and the dawn merely, but, if possible, Nature herself! How many mornings, summer and winter, before yet any neighbor was stirring about his business, have I been about mine! No doubt, many of my townsmen have met me returning from this enterprise, farmers starting for Boston in the twilight, or woodchoppers going to their work. It is true, I never assisted the sun materially in his rising, but, doubt not, it was of the last importance only to be present at it.

(徐迟译)很久以前我丢失了一头猎犬,一匹栗色马和一只斑鸠,至今我还在追踪它们。我对许多旅客描述它们的情况、踪迹以及它们会响应怎样的叫唤。我曾遇到过一二人,他们曾听见猎犬吠声,奔马蹄音,甚至还看到斑鸠隐入云中。他们也急于追寻它们回来,像是他们自己遗失了它们。

不仅要日出和黎明,如果可能,还要瞻仰大自然本身!多少个冬夏黎明,还在任何邻居为他们的事务奔波之前,我就出外我的事了!许多市民无疑都曾见到我干完事口来,清晨赶到波士顿的农夫,或去干活的樵夫都遇到过我。真的,我虽没有具体地助日出以一臂之力,可是不要怀疑,在日出之前出现是最重要的事了。

1、这里的“lost”似乎没有什么问题,可我觉得应该有“失其所求”的意思,也正是下文的“am still on their trail(我现在还的寻求他们)”。原文确实是“on their trail”,沿其踪迹追寻,可斑鸠踪迹留在何处?“traveller”译成“过客”、“旅客”、“游人”、“行人”,侧重各不相同,“旅客”的“客”字重了些,好像乘车或住店似的。

2、“Many are the travellers I have spoken concerning them, describing their tracks and what calls they answered to.”这一句的主要结构是,“……者很多是游人。”

3、“what calls they answered to”是“他们对于什么样的呼唤会回应”。

4、“disappear behind a cloud”只是说“飞入云中不见了”,当然“隐入云中”可能要文采好些,可已经生出“有意躲藏”之意了。而戴欢译本中“悠然隐没云中”,文采似更好,偏离也更远。“悠然”一词,原文中没有,这种“无中生有”超出了翻译之界。更有读者,只以译文优美与否来评判,而没有考虑对原文的忠实程度。作为文章,可能是不错的,然而作为译文,却不能不说是糟糕的。

5、“anticipate”一词,从字形上看是“anti(在……之前)+cip(看)+ate(动词后缀),意思是“在……之前做”,紧接着举得例子也能证明:在邻居还未活动时,我就已活动了。

倘若译为“观”或“瞻仰”在首句里还可以,但到了第二句里,就不妥了。第二句中,先于邻居起来做事,这也正是“anticipate”。

6、梭罗所说的三种动物到底有没有深意,人们历来意见不一。

ken Kifer评说:This is his most misunderstood statement; people want to match the animals to people in Thoreau's life. Thoreau is not using symbols that literally. He had met hunters who had lost animals but is seeking even more illusive insights.

还有版本注释说:These three symbols have been subject to scholarly and personal interpretation and debate since publication, but no analysis has been generally accepted as valid. Thoreau himself offered the following to Benjamin B. Wiley on 26 April 1857: ‘‘If others have their losses, which they are busy repairing, so have I mine, & their hound & horse may perhaps be the symbols of some of them. But also I have lost, or am in danger of losing, a far finer & more etherial treasure, which commonly no loss of which they are conscious will symbolize—this I answer hastily & with some hesitation, according as I now understand my own words’’ [C 478]. This may in part be related to the quotation from the Chinese philosopher Mencius (Meng-tse, 371–289? B.C.E.) in A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers: ‘‘If one loses a fowl or a dog, he knows well how to seek them again; if one loses the sentiments of his heart, he does not know how to seek them again. . . . The duties of practical philosophy consist only in seeking after those sentiments of the heart which we have lost; that is all’’ [W 1:280].

孟子曰:仁,人心也;义,人路也。舍其路而弗由,放其心而不知求,哀哉!人有鸡犬放,则知求之;有放心而不知求。学问之道无他,求其放心而已矣。

7、“it was of the last importance only to be present at it.译为“在日出之前出现是最重要的事了”。鉴于“last importance”,会不会是译反了?有待高手指正了。

(戴欢译)很久以前,我曾丢失了一条猎犬、一匹栗色马和一只斑鸠,至今我仍在追寻它们的踪迹。我向许多路人提到它们,描述它们的足印以及它们怎样回应人们的呼唤。我遇见过其中的一二位,他们曾听到过猎犬的叫声、栗色马的蹄音,甚至有人亲眼目睹过斑鸠悠然隐没云中,他们似乎也很急切地想找回它们,好像是自己丢失的一样。

值得期盼的,不仅仅是朝阳东升和夕阳西落,如果可能,还要涵盖整个大自然!多少个清晨、酷暑、寒冬,在邻人还没起身操持生计之前,我就已经为自己的事忙碌了好半天了!毋庸置疑,许多同镇人都曾遇见我干完活后归来,包括天刚蒙蒙亮就赶去波士顿的农夫,或是上山干活的樵夫都遇见过我。千真万确,我从未在太阳从天边升起的刹那去助它一臂之力,可是无疑在那最为重要的一刻,我是在场的见证者。

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