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可怜的梭罗――读《瓦尔登湖》翻译(四十七)  

2010-05-10 10:08:55|  分类: 《瓦尔登湖》 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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    As for a Shelter, I will not deny that this is now a necessary of life, though there are instances of men having done without it for long periods in colder countries than this. Samuel Laing says that "the Laplander in his skin dress, and in a skin bag which he puts over his head and shoulders, will sleep night after night on the snow . . . in a degree of cold which would extinguish the life of one exposed to it in any woollen clothing." He had seen them asleep thus. Yet he adds, "They are not hardier than other people." But, probably, man did not live long on the earth without discovering the convenience which there is in a house, the domestic comforts, which phrase may have originally signified the satisfactions of the house more than of the family; though these must be extremely partial and occasional in those climates where the house is associated in our thoughts with winter or the rainy season chiefly, and two thirds of the year, except for a parasol, is unnecessary. In our climate, in the summer, it was formerly almost solely a covering at night. In the Indian gazettes a wigwam was the symbol of a day's march, and a row of them cut or painted on the bark of a tree signified that so many times they had camped. Man was not made so large limbed and robust but that he must seek to narrow his world and wall in a space such as fitted him. He was at first bare and out of doors; but though this was pleasant enough in serene and warm weather, by daylight, the rainy season and the winter, to say nothing of the torrid sun, would perhaps have nipped his race in the bud if he had not made haste to clothe himself with the shelter of a house. Adam and Eve, according to the fable, wore the bower before other clothes. Man wanted a home, a place of warmth, or comfort, first of warmth, then the warmth of the affections.

(徐迟译)至于住所,我并不否认这现在是一种生活必需品了,虽然有很多例子可以说明,很久以来比这里更为寒冷的国土上都有人能够没有住所照样生活下去,塞牟尔·莱恩说,“北欧的拉普兰人穿了皮衣,头上肩上套着皮囊,可以一夜又一夜的睡在雪地上——那寒冷的程度可以使穿羊毛衣服的人冻死的。”他亲眼看到他们这样地睡着。接着他说,“可是他们并不比旁人更结实。”大概是人类生活在地球上不多久以后,就发现了房屋的便利,以及家庭生活的安逸,这句话的原意,表示对于房屋感到满足,超过家庭的融乐:然而有的地带,一说到房屋就联想到冬天和雨季,一年里有三分之二时间不用房屋,只要一柄遮阳伞,在这些地方,这样的说法就极其片面,而且只是偶尔适用罢了。我们这一带的气候,以前夏天晚上只要有个遮盖就行了。在印第安人的记录中,一座尖屋是一整天行程的标志,在树皮上刻着或画着的一排尖屋代表他们已经露营了多少次。人类没有壮大的肢体,身材并不魁梧,所以他得设法缩小他的世界,用墙垣来圈起一个适宜于他的空间。最初他是裸体的,在户外的;虽然在温和宁静的气候中,在白昼还非常愉快,可是另外有雨季和冬天,且不说那炎炎赤日,要不是人类赶快用房屋来荫蔽他自己,人种或许早在抽芽的时候就被摧残了。按照传说,亚当和夏娃在穿衣服之前,以枝叶蔽体。人类需要一个家庭,一个温暖的地方,或舒服的地方,但是肉体的温暖在先,然后才是感情的温暖啊。

1men having done without it for long periods这里的“for long periods”是修饰动词done的,即没有房屋遮蔽保暖也能生活很长时间。徐译中这个短语成了修饰整个从句的了,即“有这种例子很久了”。

2But, probably, man did not live long on the earth without discovering the convenience which there is in a house, the domestic comforts, which phrase may have originally signified the satisfactions of the house more than of the family;大概是人类生活在地球上不多久以后,就发现了房屋的便利,以及家庭生活的安逸,这句话的原意,表示对于房屋感到满足,超过家庭的融乐;

徐译把过渡词“But”给漏了。上面讲“有很多无房屋而生活的例子”,这里一转折,讲房屋的好处。这种错误对译文来说当然不是致命的,但是,没有这个词就无法表达出英语原文中存在的句子关系。作为译者不能随意删除这些词。

without discovering the convenience是说“若是没有发现房屋的好处,人类可能不会在地球上生活很久”,正是下文的“would perhaps have nipped his race in the bud if he had not made haste to clothe himself with the shelter of a house(如果人类没有很快学会穿衣造房蔽体取暖,可能在萌芽期就冻枯萎了)。

这里的“the domestic comforts”是“the convenience”的同位语,是对“the convenience”的进一步详解。二者之间没有“and”之类的连接词,不能译成“房屋的便利,以及家庭生活的安逸”,而应译为“房子的好处,即家的舒适”。

which phrase”就是指the domestic comforts”这个短语,并不是徐译的“这句话”,更不是戴译的“他说这段话”。

“家的舒适”这个短语可能最初更多的是指房子的舒适而不是指家庭的舒适。

3In the Indian gazettes a wigwam was the symbol of a day's march, and a row of them cut or painted on the bark of a tree signified that so many times they had camped.房子在印第安的gazettes中是指一天行程的符号,树上刻有一排房子表示宿营了很多次。

4Man wanted a home, a place of warmth, or comfort, first of warmth, then the warmth of the affections.

《我想有个家》中所说的“家(home)”,并不单是房子(house),也不单是家庭(family),而是这两者的结合。徐译“人类需要一个家庭”只说了一面。

英语中“Man wanted a home”是句子的主要部分,而汉译却用“但是”一转,强调了“……的温暖”。

    (戴欢译)至于住所,我并否认它现在是一种生活必需品,尽管有很多实例证明人们在比这儿更为寒冷的国度,没有住所照样能长久地生活下去。塞缪尔·莱恩说道,“居住在北欧地区的拉普兰人身穿皮衣,头戴皮帽,肩上套着皮囊,夜复一夜地睡在冰雪上——那里天寒地冻的程度足以冻死身穿羊毛衫的露宿者。”他亲眼见证了这一奇景。他又补充道:“但他们并不比其他人更壮实。”或许人类在地球上生活了没有多久,就发现了住房的便利以及家庭生活的舒适安逸。他说这段话的原意,可能表达了对住所的满足,而不是对其乐融融的家庭生活的向往。然而,在有些地方,这种说法很是偏颇。在那里,人们一说到住房就会联想起寒冬和雨季;或者那里一年的三分之二无需住房,仅要一个遮阳伞即可。我们居住的气候环境,从前在夏夜里只需在身上稍加些盖就可以了。

在印第安人的记事方法中,一座圆锥形小屋是一天行程的标志,在树皮上刻着或涂画的一排圆锥形小屋,则显示出他们露营驻扎了多少次。人类的肢体没被造就得如此硕大强健,所以他得缩小属于自己的世界,用墙壁来围起一个适合于他的空间。起初他是裸体的,在户外生活的;在晴朗温暖的气候里,白天里过得还是无比惬意的,可是到了雨季和冬天,除去其中艳阳高照的日子不说,若不是人类急忙寻求住所的庇护,或许人种在萌芽之时就会夭折了。依照传说,亚当和夏娃在没有衣服可穿时,是以树叶遮羞的。人们需要一个家,一个温暖的地方,或者一个闲适之处,首先顾及的是肉体的温暖,其次才是情感的温暖。

1in any woollen clothing没有说是“羊毛衫”,在这里它与前面的“skin dress”“skin bag”相比,应该是更保暖的。

2He had seen them asleep thus其实就是“他见过他们那样睡觉”,译作“他亲眼见证了这一奇景”变化太大。强调“亲眼”吗?强调“见证”吗?尤其“这一奇景”,原文焦点根本不在于说“雪上过夜”一事奇或不奇。

3But, probably, man did not live long on the earth without discovering the convenience which there is in a house, the domestic comforts, which phrase may have originally signified the satisfactions of the house more than of the family; 或许人类在地球上生活了没有多久,就发现了住房的便利以及家庭生活的舒适安逸。他说这段话的原意,可能表达了对住所的满足,而不是对其乐融融的家庭生活的向往。

But”“without”“domestic”“phrase”等词的漏译误译仍然与徐译一样,没有改观。而“(t he satisfactions of the house) more than of the family”译成“而不是对其乐融融的家庭生活的向往”则偏离更远。英语中“of”之前的省略是承前面的“satisfactions”,与“向往”无关。

4though these must be extremely partial and occasional徐译“这样的说法就极其片面,而且只是偶尔适用罢了”至少“partial”和“occasional”都译了。而戴译“然而,在有些地方,这种说法很是偏颇”却只译了“partial”而漏了“occasional”。

5to say nothing of何况;更不必说

6wore the bower before other clothes在没有衣服可穿时,是以树叶遮羞的

before指出了先后,而“在……时”则没有。原文也没有“遮羞”。

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