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可怜的梭罗――读《瓦尔登湖》翻译(六十八)  

2010-06-21 10:30:45|  分类: 《瓦尔登湖》 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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By the middle of April, for I made no haste in my work, but rather made the most of it, my house was framed and ready for the raising. I had already bought the shanty of James Collins, an Irishman who worked on the Fitchburg Railroad, for boards. James Collins' shanty was considered an uncommonly fine one. When I called to see it he was not at home. I walked about the outside, at first unobserved from within, the window was so deep and high. It was of small dimensions, with a peaked cottage roof, and not much else to be seen, the dirt being raised five feet all around as if it were a compost heap. The roof was the soundest part, though a good deal warped and made brittle by the sun. Doorsill there was none, but a perennial passage for the hens under the door-board. Mrs. C. came to the door and asked me to view it from the inside. The hens were driven in by my approach. It was dark, and had a dirt floor for the most part, dank, clammy, and aguish, only here a board and there a board which would not bear removal. She lighted a lamp to show me the inside of the roof and the walls, and also that the board floor extended under the bed, warning me not to step into the cellar, a sort of dust hole two feet deep. In her own words, they were "good boards overhead, good boards all around, and a good window" -- of two whole squares originally, only the cat had passed out that way lately. There was a stove, a bed, and a place to sit, an infant in the house where it was born, a silk parasol, gilt-framed looking-glass, and a patent new coffee-mill nailed to an oak sapling, all told. The bargain was soon concluded, for James had in the meanwhile returned. I to pay four dollars and twenty-five cents tonight, he to vacate at five tomorrow morning, selling to nobody else meanwhile: I to take possession at six. It were well, he said, to be there early, and anticipate certain indistinct but wholly unjust claims on the score of ground rent and fuel. This he assured me was the only encumbrance. At six I passed him and his family on the road. One large bundle held their all -- bed, coffee-mill, looking-glass, hens -- all but the cat, she took to the woods and became a wild cat, and, as I learned afterward, trod in a trap set for woodchucks, and so became a dead cat at last.

(徐迟译)我的工作干得一点不紧张,只是尽力去做而已,到四月中旬,我的屋架已经完工,可以立起来了。我已经向詹姆斯·柯令斯,一个在菲茨堡铁路上工作的爱尔兰人,买下他的棚屋来使用他的木板。詹姆斯·柯令斯的棚屋被认为是不平凡的好建筑。我找他去的时候,他不在家。我在外面走动,起先没有给里面注意到,那窗子很深而且很高。屋很小,有一个三角形的屋顶,别的没有什么可看的,四周积有五英尺高的垃圾,像肥料堆。屋顶是最完整的一部分,虽然给太阳晒得弯弯曲曲,而且很脆。没有门框,门板下有一道终年群鸡乱飞的通道。柯夫人来到门口,邀我到室内去看看货色。我一走近,母鸡也给我赶了进去。屋子里光线暗淡,大部分的地板很脏,潮湿,发粘,摇动,只有这里一条,那里一条,是不能搬,一搬就裂的木板。她点亮了一盏灯,给我看屋顶的里边和墙,以及一直伸到床底下去的地板,却劝告我不要踏入地窖中去,那不过是两英尺深的垃圾坑。用她自己的话来说,“头顶上,四周围,都是好木板,还有一扇好窗户,”——原来是两个方框,最近只有猫在那里出进。那里有一只火炉,一张床,一个坐坐的地方,一个出生在那里的婴孩,一把丝质的遮阳伞,还有镀金的镜子一面,以及一只全新的咖啡磨,钉牢在一块幼橡木上,这就是全部了。我们的交易当下就谈妥,因为那时候,詹姆斯也回来啦。当天晚上,我得付四元两角五分,他得在明天早晨五点搬家,可不能再把什么东西卖给别人了;六点钟,我可以去占有那棚屋。他说,赶早来最好,趁别人还来不及在地租和燃料上,提出某种数目不定,但是完全不公道的要求。他告诉我这是唯一的额外开支。到了六点钟,我在路上碰到他和他的一家。一个大包裹,全部家产都在内,——床,咖啡磨,镜子,母鸡,——只除了猫;它奔入树林,成为野猫,后来我又知道它触上了一只捕捉土拨鼠的机关,终于成了一只死猫。

1、“made the most of it”徐译“尽力去做”虽然在点偏,但还是言中了一部分。戴译“在按部就班地干活”就一点也不沾边了。这个短语是个Pun: use to the best advantage or to the uttermost, but also with the idea of making the most work out if it.

2a peaked cottage roof。“peaked”就是尖顶的,不知徐译为何要说三角形的屋顶?戴译“有个三角形的尖顶”中既已译出“尖”字,原文中没有的“三角形”就不必再照搬不误。

3though a good deal warped and made brittle by the sun.两译者把“ a good deal”都省去了。

Doorsill there was none, but a perennial passage for the hens under the door-board. 两译者都把“门槛(Doorsill)”译成“门框”,而且,原文中不过是说“门下有个通道供鸡进出”,徐译凭空增出个“(群鸡)乱飞”,戴译增出“(常年)嬉耍”。

4I to take possession at six徐译“六点钟,我可以去占有那棚屋”梭罗文中已经说了bought the shanty……for boards,买下铁路建筑工人的棚屋是用其中的木材,并不是要“占有”“占据”,何不译成“就归我所有了”?

 

就梭罗描写这棚屋的细致,还有后来的账目准确,有些读者说他琐碎,不是没有道理的。

     (戴欢译)到了4月中旬,我的屋架已经完工,就可立起来了,我一直在按部就班地干活,并不急于赶工。詹姆斯·柯林斯,是一个在菲茨堡铁路上工作的爱尔兰人,我向他买下了他的小木屋,是为了利用现成的木板。詹姆斯·柯林斯的小木屋可算是建得不同凡响,我去找他时,他恰巧不在家。我在屋外闲逛,起初没有让屋内的人看见,因为那窗子又深又高。屋子很小,有个三角形的尖顶,其他没什么值得一看的,屋子的四周垃圾堆得有5英尺高,简直是个肥料堆。屋顶是最完好的部分,虽然被太阳晒得焦脆,严重变形了。屋子没有门框,在门板下,有一条群鸡常年嬉耍的通道。柯林斯夫人来到门前,请我去屋内看看。

    我走进去,母鸡也被我赶了进去,屋子里黑乎乎的,大部分地板脏兮兮的,潮湿发黏,还在晃动,四周的木板也不齐整,一搬动就会裂开。她点亮了一盏灯,指给我看木屋内的屋顶和墙壁,还有延伸到床底下的地板。她提醒我不要踏进地窖半步,它只算是个2英尺深的垃圾坑。照她自己的话说,头顶上是好木板,四周也是好木板,还有一扇好窗户——原来是两个方洞,最近只有猫在那里进出了。

    屋内有一只火炉、一张床和一个可坐的地方、一个就在那里出生的婴儿、一把绸布遮阳伞、一面镀金的镜子,还有一个式样别致的新咖啡磨钉在一块橡木上,这就是我看见的全部了。詹姆斯这时回来了,我们的交易当即谈妥,我当晚得付出4美元25美分,他明早5点搬走,不再将木屋卖与他人;6点钟我就能占据木屋,他告诉我最好早点来,以防别人预先在地租和燃料上提出某种数目含糊而又绝不公平的要求,他说这可就是我惟一的麻烦了。第二天清早6点,我在路上遇见了他和他的一家,一个大包裹,他全部的家产都在其内了——床、咖啡磨、镜子和母鸡——但是猫除外,它跑进林中,做了一只野猫,后来我听说,它绊动了捕捉土拨鼠的机关,最终成了一只死猫。

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