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可怜的梭罗——读《瓦尔登湖》翻译(132)  

2012-12-12 08:17:30|  分类: 《瓦尔登湖》 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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Both place and time were changed, and I dwelt nearer to those parts of the universe and to those eras in history which had most attracted me. Where I lived was as far off as many a region viewed nightly by astronomers. We are wont to imagine rare and delectable places in some remote and more celestial corner of the system, behind the constellation of Cassiopeia's Chair, far from noise and disturbance. I discovered that my house actually had its site in such a withdrawn, but forever new and unprofaned, part of the universe. If it were worth the while to settle in those parts near to the Pleiades or the Hyades, to Aldebaran or Altair, then I was really there, or at an equal remoteness from the life which I had left behind, dwindled and twinkling with as fine a ray to my nearest neighbor, and to be seen only in moonless nights by him. Such was that part of creation where I had squatted; --

   "There was a shepherd that did live,

      And held his thoughts as high

   As were the mounts whereon his flocks

      Did hourly feed him by."

What should we think of the shepherd's life if his flocks always wandered to higher pastures than his thoughts?

(徐迟译)时间和地点都已变换,我生活在更靠近了宇宙中的这些部分,更挨紧了历史中最吸引我的那些时代。我生活的地方遥远得跟天文家每晚观察的太空一样,我们惯于幻想,在天体的更远更僻的一角,有着更稀罕、更愉快的地方,在仙后星座的椅子形状的后面,远远地离了嚣闹和骚扰。我发现我的房屋位置正是这样一个遁隐之处,它是终古常新的没有受到污染的宇宙一部分。如果说,居住在这些部分,更靠近昴星团或毕星团,牵牛星座或天鹰星座更加值得的话,那末,我真正是住在那些地方的,至少是,就跟那些星座一样远离我抛在后面的人世,那些闪闪的小光,那些柔美的光线,传给我最近的邻居,只有在没有月亮的夜间才能够看得到。我所居住的便是创造物中那部分;——

曾有个牧羊人活在世上,

他的思想有高山那样

崇高,在那里他的羊群

每小时都给与他营养。

如果牧羊人的羊群老是走到比他的思想还要高的牧场上,我们会觉得他的生活是怎样的呢?

   1) I dwelt nearer to those parts of the universe and to those eras in history which had most attracted me.句中的“which”从句是否也修饰“to those parts of the universe”?

2) Such was that part of creation where I had squatted。句中的“that part of creation”应该与前面说的“those parts of the universe”很相近,即“世界/宇宙中的那部分”。徐译“我所居住的便是创造物中那部分”把“creation”译为“创造物”有些莫名其妙。

3) We are wont to imagine rare and delectable places in some remote and more celestial corner of the system 戴译“我们时常幻想着,在星系的更遥远、更偏僻的角落,有着更稀奇、更快乐的地方”四个“更”字排列,很是顺口,但原文里其实只有“more celestial”处一个“更”字。

同样地,“If it were worth the while to settle in those parts near to the Pleiades or the Hyades, to Aldebaran or Altair”,戴译“更靠近昴星团、毕星团、金牛星座或天鹰星座的那些地方更值得居住的话”,也无故多出两个“更”字。

4) Cassiopeia's ChairCassiopeia是仙后座。徐译“仙后星座的椅子形状”译出“椅子”来就不必要;戴译“仙后星座列成椅形的5颗最亮的星群”就更详细了。“五颗最亮的”不是原文内容,至少字面没有,若担心读者不懂,可另加注释,不宜直接添加到原文里。

5) Ken Kifer的评说也附在这里:梭罗描写的瓦尔登湖,让读者觉得神秘,但对于康科德人来说,瓦尔登湖不过就是附近一个小池塘。但在梭罗的想像中,他生活在完全不同的地方,不同的时间,即一个遥远的太阳系中,历史上他最喜欢的时间。他把瓦尔登湖描写得对他人来说那么遥远,让我想到他在前面《瓦尔登湖》第二段中曾说如果谁“曾真诚地生活过,那必定是在一个离我遥远的地方。”(Thoreau makes Walden Pond seem magical to his readers, yet to the people of Concord, it must have been just another small, nearby pond. But in his imagination, he lived in a different place and time, a place in some distant solar system and during his favorite moment in history. His locating Walden so remotely from everyone else makes me think back to the second paragraph in Walden where he claims that if someone "has lived sincerely, it must be in a distant land to me."

(戴欢译)时间和地点已全然变更,而我的居所却更贴近宇宙中的那些部分、更贴近历史长河对我吸引最大的那些时代。我生活的地方是如此遥远,遥远得如天文学家夜间观测的星座一般。我们时常幻想着,在星系的遥远、更偏僻的角落,有着更稀奇、更快乐的地方,在仙后星座列成椅形的5颗最亮的星群背后,远离了尘世的喧嚣和骚动。我发现,我的房屋其实正坐落于这样一个遁世之所,它是终古常新而未被亵渎的宇宙一角。假如说,靠近昴星团、毕星团、金牛星座或天鹰星座的那些地方值得居住的话,那么,我真的是住在那儿的,或者就是与那些星座一道,远离抛在身后的尘世,将微弱闪亮的柔光,发向我最为靠近的邻居,让他们只在月亮无踪的夜晚看到。我所占据的地方便是天地万物中的这样一个部分——

“有个牧羊人曾活在世上,

他的思想如山高万尺,

他的羊群就在那高山之上,

每小时都给他营养美食。”

如果牧羊人的羊群总是在比他的思想更高的牧场上游荡,我们该想想他的生活会是怎样的一番光景

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