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可怜的梭罗——读《瓦尔登湖》翻译(123)  

2012-05-31 22:44:34|  分类: 《瓦尔登湖》 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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The real attractions of the Hollowell farm, to me, were: its complete retirement, being, about two miles from the village, half a mile from the nearest neighbor, and separated from the highway by a broad field; its bounding on the river, which the owner said protected it by its fogs from frosts in the spring, though that was nothing to me; the gray color and ruinous state of the house and barn, and the dilapidated fences, which put such an interval between me and the last occupant; the hollow and lichen-covered apple trees, nawed by rabbits, showing what kind of neighbors I should have; but above all, the recollection I had of it from my earliest voyages up the river, when the house was concealed behind a dense grove of red maples, through which I heard the house-dog bark. I was in haste to buy it, before the proprietor finished getting out some rocks, cutting down the hollow apple trees, and grubbing up some young birches which had sprung up in the pasture, or, in short, had made any more of his improvements. To enjoy these advantages I was ready to carry it on; like Atlas, to take the world on my shoulders -- I never heard what compensation he received for that -- and do all those things which had no other motive or excuse but that I might pay for it and be unmolested in my possession of it; for I knew all the while that it would yield the most abundant crop of the kind I wanted, if I could only afford to let it alone. But it turned out as I have said.

(徐迟译)霍乐威尔田园的真正迷人之处,在我看是:它的遁隐之深,村子有两英里,离开最近的邻居有半英里,并且有一大片地把它和公路隔开了;它傍着河流,据它的主人说,由于这条河,而升起了雾,春天里就不会再下霜了,这却不在我心坎上;而且,它的田舍和棚屋带有灰暗而残败的神色,加上零落的篱笆,好似在我和先前的居民之间,隔开了多少岁月;还有那苹果树,树身已空,苔藓满布,兔子咬过,可见得我将会有什么样的一些邻舍了,但最主要的还是那一度回忆,我早年就曾经溯河而上,那时节,这些屋宇藏在密密的红色枫叶丛中,还记得我曾听到过一头家犬的吠声。我急于将它购买下来,等不及那产业主搬走那些岩石,砍伐掉那些树身已空的苹果树,铲除那些牧场中新近跃起的赤杨幼树,一句话,等不及它的任何收拾了。为了享受前述的那些优点,我决定干一下了;像那阿特拉斯一样,把世界放在我肩膀上好啦,——我从没听到过他得了哪样报酬,——我愿意做一切事:简直没有别的动机或任何推托之辞,只等付清了款子,便占有这个田园,再不受他人侵犯就行了;因为我知道我只要让这片田园自生自展,它将要生展出我所企求的最丰美的收获。但后来的结果已见上述。

(戴欢译)霍洛威尔田园的真正诱人之处,在我看来,却是它深邃中的幽静。它距村子约有2英里之遥,距最近的乡邻半英里远,一片宽阔的田野将它与公路隔离开来。它紧挨着一条河流,据田园的主人说,多亏这条河上升起的浓雾,使得田园的春天免遭了霜冻的侵害。然而,这一切与我毫不相关。田园的房舍和马厩表面色泽灰暗,一片残垣断壁的景象,篱笆已零落不堪,犹如在我和先前的居住者之间隔绝了多少漫长的时光;田园中的苹果树,树身中空,苔藓遍布,兔子的咬痕清晰可见,我会与何人为邻便可想而知了。

但超乎这眼前一切的,却是我最初对这里的一段记忆:我孩提时曾逆流而上,在那时节,这些房舍掩映在浓密的红枫树丛中,枫林中不时传出鸡鸣狗吠声。我急于想买下它,不等田园主搬走石块,砍掉树身中空的苹果树,铲除牧场中刚刚冒尖的小白桦树,总而言之,等不及这里收拾得大变样了。为了享受上面提到的那些好处,我准备大干一场,就如同阿特拉斯一般,将整个世界压在我的肩上好啦——我从未听说过他为此获取了什么报酬——我最想如愿以偿的这一切事,可别横生枝节,我只想能早点付款,便可入主田园,平安无事地过活了;因为我此时知道,如果我任由这片田园自生自灭,它定会生产出我所渴求的最丰盛的收成。但结果却泡了汤。

1its complete retirement. 这是说农场远离村庄,异常幽静。徐译“它的遁隐之深”像是拟人化了;戴译“却是它深邃中的幽静”,多出了“深邃”。

2that was nothing to me. 这点对我来说不算什么。徐译“这却不在我心坎上”;戴译“这一切与我毫不相关”。

3I was in haste to buy it, before the proprietor finishedor, in short, had made any more of his improvements. 徐译“我急于将它购买下来,等不及那产业主……等不及它的任何收拾了。”戴译“我急于想买下它,不等田园主……等不及这里收拾得大变样了。”就像期盼着收拾改变而迫不及待似的,其实是“快点买下,免得农场主做什么改变。”

Ken Kifer评论道:Not one of the features that Thoreau found desirable about the farm has any value for securing wealth. In fact, he was worried about the owner making improvements that would have made the farm more productive. Note that while Thoreau admits to wanting to fall into the same trap as his "townsmen whose misfortune it is to have inherited farms," his goals and expectations are not the same.

4I was ready to carry it on. 这里的“carry it on”不是“干一下”或“大干一场”,而是“let it alone”,让农场保持原样不动。梭罗又用了“take the world on”来与“carry”呼应。汉译要传递这双关趣味了就很难了。

5be unmolested in my possession of it. 这里是指梭罗买农场时不再节外生枝,像农场主妻子改变主意那样。徐译“只等付清了款子,便占有这个田园,再不受他人侵犯就行了”。戴译“我只想能早点付款,便可入主田园,平安无事地过活了”。

6if I could only afford to let it alone. 戴译“如果我任由这片田园自生自灭”,说“自生”可以,但没说“自灭”。徐译“我只要让这片田园自生自展”,这个四字格是造词,显得生硬。其实,“letitalone”短语,上文已出现过。

7)这第二章的首段,王义国翻译多处误译,感觉像是睡着了;这一段译得较精彩,像是醒来了:

在我看来,霍洛韦尔农场的真正吸引力在于:它是一个完全安静的地方,它离村子大约两英里,离最近的邻居有半英里远,一片宽阔的田野把它与公路隔离开来;它紧挨着一条河流,主人说,春天河上会有雾,所以就没有霜冻,不过这对我来说无关紧要;房子和牲口棚颜色灰暗,一派断壁残垣的景象,篱笆也破烂不堪,说明在我和先前最后一位居住者之间相隔了这么长时间;苹果树遭到了兔子的啃咬,因而有空洞,长满了地衣,这表明我会有什么样的邻居;但最重要的是那段回忆,我曾逆水而上,当时房子掩映在浓密的红色的枫树林之中,而从中又传来家犬的吠声。我急于要把它买下,免得业主搬走某些石头,砍掉有空洞的苹果树,挖掉那些在牧场上突然长出的小白桦树,或者,简单地说,免得再做他的任何改善。为了享受这些优势,我准备把原状保持下去;我准备就像阿特拉斯一样,把世界扛在我的肩膀上——我从未听说他为些获得了什么补偿——而且我这样做,并没有别的动机或者借口,只是为了我可以付清它的费用,不必节外生枝便可拥有它;因为我一直明白,如果我能做得到不打扰它的话,那么它就能生产出我所想要的那种最丰富的收成。但结果呢,我在上面已经说过了。

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