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不搧巴掌只用棍——名句欣赏(二十四)  

2014-01-14 13:16:13|  分类: 英语欣赏 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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1.       ERNIE: I had a pretty tough childhood myself, you know. At the age of five I was left an orphan. ERIC: That’s ridiculous! What could a five-year-old do with an orphan?埃尔尼:你知道,我自己的童年相当艰辛。我五岁时即成遗孤/托孤。 埃里克:别逗了。五岁的孩子,托给你孤儿你又能做什么?Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise, The Morecambe and Wise Joke Book, 1979

2.       When I was a kid, I had no watch. I used to tell the time by my violin. I used to practice in the middle of the night and the neighbours would yell, “Fine time to practice the violin, three o’clock in the morning! 我小时候没有手表。我看时间常常用小提琴。夜半练小提琴时,邻居就大喊:“凌晨三点,练琴好时间啊!”Henny Youngman, 1906-98, American comedian

3.       I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least that’s what he told us in the letter. 我是妈妈一个带大的。你知道,在我八岁时我爸爸就去世了。至少他在信上是这么说的。Drew Carey, American comedian

4.       I was a very unpopular child. I had only two friends. They were imaginary. And they would only play with each other. 小时候我喜欢我的伙伴很少。我只有俩朋友。他们是想象出的。而他俩只愿与对方玩。Judy Tenuta, American comedienne

5.       We had a quicksand box in our backyard. I was an only child. Eventually. 我们后院里有个流沙箱。我是唯一的一个孩子。到最后。Steven Wright, American comedian

6.       I read one psychologist’s theory that said, ‘Never strike a child in anger.’ When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he is recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on a Sunday?我读到一位心理学家的理论说“生气时不要打孩子。”那我什么时候打?在我生日孩子亲吻我时打?在他麻疹康复时打?礼拜天做礼拜时我把他手里的《圣经》一巴掌打掉?Erma Bombeck, If Life is a Bowl of Cherries—What am I doing in the Pits?, 1978

7.       I love children… parboiled. W. C. 我喜欢孩子…煮成五分熟。Fields, American actor and comedian (Attrib.)

8.       The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable. 父母吸引孩子最快的方式就是坐下来显出很舒适的样子。Lane Olinghouse, Wall Street Journal

9.       If your parents didn’t have any children, there’s a good chance that you won’t have any. 如果你父母没有什么孩子,极可能你也不会有孩子。 Clarence Day, 1874-1935, American author

10.    I don’t believe in smacking children—I just use a cattle prod. 我不信奉掌掴孩子——我只用赶牛棍。Jenny ?clair, English poet and comedienne

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