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可怜的梭罗——读《瓦尔登湖》翻译(182)  

2018-01-31 23:35:47|  分类: 《瓦尔登湖》 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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When I return to my house I find that visitors have been there and left their cards, either a bunch of flowers, or a wreath of evergreen, or a name in pencil on a yellow walnut leaf or a chip. They who come rarely to the woods take some little piece of the forest into their hands to play with by the way, which they leave, either intentionally or accidentally. One has peeled a willow wand, woven it into a ring, and dropped it on my table. I could always tell if visitors had called in my absence, either by the bended twigs or grass, or the print of their shoes, and generally of what sex or age or quality they were by some slight trace left, as a flower dropped, or a bunch of grass plucked and thrown away, even as far off as the railroad, half a mile distant, or by the lingering odor of a cigar or pipe. Nay, I was frequently notified of the passage of a traveller along the highway sixty rods off by the scent of his pipe.

(徐迟译)等我口到家里,发现已有访客来过,他们还留下了名片呢,不是一束花,便是一个常春树的花环,或用铅笔写在黄色的胡桃叶或者木片上的一个名字。不常进入森林的人常把森林中的小玩意儿一路上拿在手里玩,有时故意,有时偶然,把它们留下了。有一位剥下了柳树皮,做成一个戒指,丢在我桌上。在我出门时有没有客人来过,我总能知道,不是树枝或青草弯倒,便是有了鞋印,一般说,从他们留下的微小痕迹里我还可以猜出他们的年龄、性别和性格;有的掉下了花朵,有的抓来一把草,又扔掉,甚至还有一直带到半英里外的铁路边才扔下的呢;有时,雪茄烟或烟斗味道还残留不散。常常我还能从烟斗的香味注意到六十杆之外公路上行经的一个旅行者。

1) I could always tell if visitors had called in my absence, either by the bended twigs or grass, or the print of their shoes, and generally of what sex or age or quality they were by some slight trace left, as a flower dropped, or a bunch of grass plucked and thrown away, even as far off as the railroad, half a mile distant, or by the lingering odor of a cigar or pipe. 这一复合句是以and连接的两个句子。前句是“我总能从弯曲的树枝或草叶分辨出是否有人来过”,后一句“generally of what sex or age or quality they were by…”,承前省略了“I could … tell of”,是“我通常能从……分辨出来客的性别、年龄或性格”。不能把前后两句里分辨证据合到一起:“可以凭借压弯的树枝或青草或鞋印以及留下的一些微小的印迹……

2) a flower dropped, or a bunch of grass plucked and thrown away… 这里的dropped不是自动词“掉下”,而是他动词“扔下/丢下”。确定动词是否及物,可参照后面的pluckedthrown。韩愈《马说》里的“策之不以其道,食之不能尽其材,鸣之而不能通其意”一句,即可参照“策之”、“食之”来解“鸣之”。

pluck就是“拔草”的“拔”,不能译作“抓来”或者“捡来”。“草”原文也没有说是“嫰”的。

3) Nay, I was frequently notified of the passage of a traveller along the highway sixty rods off by the scent of his pipe.不但如此,梭罗还能从人吸的烟味知道一里之外的大路上有人路过。这句是被动句,“烟味让他知道……”

4) the passage (of a traveller) along…,译作“行经”,较古雅,但我认为译作普通的“经过”就可以了,免得读者理解成不是“走路”义的“行经”。

(戴欢译)当我回到家里,发现已有客人造访过,他们还留有名片呢——一束花、一只常青藤做的花环,或是在黄色的胡桃或木片上用铅笔签上的名字。那些很少到森林里游玩的人,都常把这些在森林中随手捡起的小物品,一路赏玩,时而有意时而无意地把它们留下来。有个人用剥下的柳树皮弄成一个戒指,放在我桌上。这样,在我出门回来时,总能发现有没有客人到访过。而且可以凭借压弯的树枝或青草或鞋印以及留下的一些微小的印迹推断出他们的年龄、性别和性格——掉在地上的一朵小花、一把嫩草,捡来又扔掉,有的还扔在半英里的铁路边上;有时上面还留有淡淡的雪茄烟或烟斗的味道。往往我还会从烟斗的香味上而留意到60杆之外公路上行走的旅人。

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